Fake Crying

It occurred to me today that little kids, despite potential language barriers, and maybe a reduced capacity as it relates to motor skills, movement and coordination- -they still know what’s up. When something is going down that they don't particularly care for, they don’t hesitate to initiate the “fake cry," and I have to give credit where credit is due that it's fucking genius. Everyone is aware that they aren't really crying, but we still have to tend to them (out of obligation), because crying is a horribly obnoxious sound, and the moment it starts you want it to stop quickly. What I’m describing doesn’t, in any way, include sobbing. Sobbing is cute- -just little tears trickling down because you're actually sad (or because there is a particularly touching commercial on TV….don’t judge me). I'm talking about the wailing sound that sometimes accompanies crying. Little kids have honed in on that sound and they exploit the shit out of it. It's brilliant, but I feel somehow gypped that I can't also use the fake cry to my advantage just in daily life. Well, I mean…I'm sure I could; all girls know about the fake cry to get out of a speeding ticket or the like. What I’m saying though, is that when something non-ideal happens each day, I want to just start wailing. Like with unruly (brilliant) children, the second I start in, people around me will know that I'm not actually crying, but they will also know with certainty that I'm unhappy....and they will probably follow suit as they would with a baby and try to rectify the situation to make me stop wailing. If they do nothing, the wailing will get louder. Just saying.